So much to say

But! there is not enough time, perhaps tomorrow.... no, i promise tmw i will sit here and write about everything that I want to tell you. I must go now and be girly and shave my legs, spring formal!
nite ;)

Maria Lopez

I named my camera today, I felt that such a beautiful, useful, cherised piece of equipment deserved a name. So, I named it (her) Maria Lopez, I don't really know why, I wanted to name her Ira but thats a guy's name. I think Maria Lopez gives her a neat identity.
I have so much work to doooooo!
I keep planning out in my head what I will do on what day, I just hopes it works! I want to do well on everything but I feel that since every single class requires so much, I won't be able to put as much time as I would like into...everything.
Whatever happens, happens, just as long as I actually work.
I don't have a headache today but it will be a looong day.

I usually like wednesdays.
this damn headache won't go away

my experiences

Recently I have had really interesting experiences with food! Like this past week, food has been a them. It really isn't that interesting, it's just fun to recap for me. The most interesting part I guess is that I haven't even been able to eat that well. I have been on the verge of getting sick and not getting sick for the past days so when I do eat, I get really nauseous and I get a terrible headache and I had a fever yesterday.
That however is not the point, the point is, I hadn't had chicken lemon rice soup in a really long time, and it is my all time favorite soup! i had it on sunday and I was reminded of that...how much I love soup
I had chinese dumplings for the first time on saturday. I had tried them before but not really, they were ok, I think next time I will get veggie only, no chicken. Personally, I think empanads are better. Especially the tuna ones my mom makes.
Monday, I had a corn dog. I had never ever in my life had corn dogs, i know sad, im just not american what can I say...I didn't like it though, I don't see what all the fuss is about, really, just eat hot dog buns people, tastes better.
Today, i went to panda express for the very first time. I seriously felt like a foreigner in a different country, that may be an exaggeration acutally, but u get the point. I just felt like everybody knew right away what to get and where, and there I was, only wanting fried rice and a veggie spring roll. The people serving my food were like...are u serious this is all u want? they werent mean though, it hink they were just surprised, one of the guys very nicely asked if I wanted sauce for my spring roll and he was like sweet and sour right? and i was like..yeah (how did u know tone of voice) I was very surprised to see that it was really clean and I felt very proud of myself in the end when I got exactly what I wanted. Food was ok, the experience was the best.

it smells like mexico

the whole day today, from early morning til 7 when I came back from buying jelly beans for Geneva (she is the lady that I wrote a book about and I am giving her a copy of the book so i bought her jelly beans as a thank you gesture. I bought her the light blue ones that are like rasberry flavor i think, they are divine, expensive though, 3.99 for 1/2 a pound!)
anyway, it smells like mexico! and I cannot describe the smell, it is one of those things that you have to experience and u immediatly recognize afterwards. It isn't even like a yummy pleasant smell, not fresh or flowery. It's just a distinct city smell. it got me very excited for my trip back home though. i havent been there in two years and I just know that so much is going to be different. It doesnt make me sad though, it's kind of exciting! the first think i will do after greeting my family and all is go to a grocery store and buy all the mexican candy, chips and cookies and food that I can find.
one of favorite art pieces is The Kiss by Rodin, love it, I don't even have to explain it, that's how beautiful it is.
I LOVE PHOTO CLASS!
my boyfriend and I are both wearing brown today, we never EVER wear brown. but today we did. :)

im just sitting here playing with my toes

its going to look like I wrote twice for the same day but it isn't so, its that I wrote at midnite and it was suppose to be for saturday's nite, but it looks like its sunday, but not.
anyway, i was trying to find a community college to take french in but it didn't work so I gave up.
today was very lazy, I got up early and all and finished all I had to do early, so i've been sitting here doing unimportant things, i really want to take a nap though. I haven't left my building at all, I have no idea what the day was like today, it's ok though, I like days like these.
I went down to eat and I was reminded of how last summer, I was sick with mono and so my boyfriend would come to my house with breakfast food and we would eat croissants and watermelon with cottage cheese or he would come and pick me up and take me to his house where he had pancakes and hot chocolate waiting for me. how lovely all of that was, not the being sick part, but everything else. How you ever noticed how the air smells different when seasons change, the air just feels different, thats what reminded me of those summer mornings. lovely lovely memory.
im going to go shower now.

I am so proud of myself

After a pounding headache that took over me for more than half of the day and made me feel like I was getting nothing done, I finished my book!!! and I am in love with it, in my eyes, it is the greatest book to have ever existed!!! I could read it over and over again, until I memorized it, its so cute!
makes me happy, im exhausted, sleep!

last night

I decided that if I were to be a dried fruit, I would become a dried cranberry.
I also want to learn how to play the violin.

u know what i hate???

when i hear a song and i think i will remember part of the lyrics so that I can look for it later and when i go to look for it...I don't actually remember!!!! it bugs me so much!!!

dinner!

I ate a baked potato today!!! its the first time I've eaten a baked potato!!! I know...ridiculous, but its true, part of my college experience has been to eat a baked potato...I had tried them before but I never liked them so I would never eat them but today there was nothing much to eat for dinner so I had a tiny one with sour cream and it was quite enjoyable...maybe I was hungry, but I thought it was worth noting because I actually ate the whole thing. I also had filet mignon but undercooked meat gives me a terrible headache, ugh.
I did not have my snapple today...i forgot! haha! I am really craving chocolate and cakes and pastries and donuts, I'm staying strong though, only a couple more weeks to go and I can eat all that I want (lent)
We had room draw today and my roommate and me now, are rooming together, (in case u've read the entries before, things are much better now) and we got the coolest room! its like two rooms in one so we could do our own seperate rooms or a room and a little lounge area, its awesome, and thanks to my lucky hand we got to go first! yay! im so awesome!
today was a good day, i like wednesdays, they make me happy, i hope tomorrow is just as great, I have a lot of work to do, but I am not stressing out, I'm actually enjoying the things that I am working on, book making is fun.
au revoir

the bus

I ride the bus everyday 4 times a day so i evidently run into the same people all the time. We dont even know each other or about each other but we ride the bus together everyday or every couple of days at least. I am sure that just like I notice and remember people others remember me. We don't really impact each others live's that much, we just share a bus ride together. A while back this lady got on the Commuter south bus and was on the phone talking about his son's gf and how she is from Mexico and her name is Alicia and she is such a nice girl. She talked about her, i don't know how to explain it but like...she is nice but she is foreign and poor thing knows nothing about the world...kind of way, u know? It is hard to say if this is true or not but then the lady went on to talk about how her family was becoming so international and how cool it was bc her daughter was dating someone european and her son a mexican girl blah blah, they funny thing is that I remember this conversation vividly and it must have happened a month ago or more. Today I get on the bus and a seat close to me I hear the same voice talking about Alicia the mexican girl, it was the lady!!! her son now wants her to go to mexico during april because he is going to propose to Alicia and wants her to be there. How unusual is this! suddenly I felt part of her life, even though I dont know her and probably wouldnt like her, and she obviously doesnt know me...but i knew who she was referring to, I knew something about her life!
and then this cute couple was standing at the front of the bus, they reminded me so much of two people i know. The girl was this silly goofy fun short girl who looked madly in love whenever she looked up at her boyfriend. The boy was this easy going pale as can be talkative sweet boy who stared at his girlfriend like she was the most gorgeous wonderful person on earth. As the got off the bus and walked away they kissed each other's hands with such care, almost as if thanking each other for being alive and for finding each other. It was like a movie, it was like I could really relate to that and I am so lucky for that.
I keep seeing snapple signs everywhere my mission tomorrow is to buy peach snapple and drink it!

today is a sad day

I feel so overwhelmed, like nothing that I do is actually paying off. It kind of feels like I am putting so much time into everything that I do, and I try to be so good about having time for everything and I am trying so hard to learn and have fun and do things because I want to do them not just because they are required, and in the end nothing works out! I feel like this semester is just being so hard on me and like there is so much ahead of me that I am just not ready for. I know that I should not compare myself to others, and I tend to be very confident about the things I do but recently I feel like I am not creative enough, or talented enough, or skilled enough, yet I try so hard to do things right, and I just don't see any rewards for it.

ps. Its not all that bad, I just really miss him.

sooo

The elevator broke in my house (residence hall, dorm, whatever) and I have had to go up and down the stairs about a million times today, I had to carry all my laundry down to the basement and back and I've been in and out all day and I HATE stairs!!! I have to go up like 5 flights of stairs it is sooo annoying! im exhausted

I don't know

what to write about...there is a lot to write about so it makes it hard to figure out what I want to write about because I don't want to write about everything, but then...how do I chose!
basically, it was such a fun fun weekend, I know that its only saturday night but if feels like sunday, I just did so much and the whole weekend was just such a happy time, it was like a small vacation away from school and everything and it was so wonderful and I am oh so in love! yay! :)
Im also really happy right now because after 2 hours I got my printer and scanner working and I feel so proud of myself haha! but i figured it out so its all good!
Im tired though, i did sooo much walking this weekend and the whole town was sooo loud and all...it exhausts me, I need my beauty sleep
by the way I am aware that I once again skipped a day...I just had no time to sit at my computer and write, really...no time! anyway I gotta go do something else!

crayons

I freaking love crayons! I especially love JUMBO crayons because they're JUMBO!

mmm hmmm mmm hmm

that is me humming this song


Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand

That green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you
And how could, anybody, deny you

I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, now I’ve met you
And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

Green eyes

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know

That green eyes, you’re the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind

Cause I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, since I met you
Honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

Green eyes
Green eyes

Ohohohohooooo
Ohohohohooooo

Ohohohohooooo
Ohohohohooooo

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
~ green eyes cold play

I don't like that

I am not a good writer!!!
I so wish that I could articulate my ideas better on paper, it would open up so many doors, I can just see it!
it really would make my life easier though, like...how did I miss out on the good writing classes???
I studied for three hours straight today, i am very proud of myself
I feel like I am being really good about not over stressing...it will all workout and I am actually enjoying the things i do.
I adore photo class! I could do it aaaaaall day
all my life possibly??? ooo exciting
ok... back to house board petition vote Ana for Secretary, YAY!

sunday

highlight....ever after movie i love it
non highlight...damn busy
gotta go

oh shhhuga

I just realized that its saturday...and...i last wrote on wednesday..but that ok because I remember everything that has happened since then, don't worry!
So thursday, these two ladies came to my cfc class to basically teach us how to walk, and perceive things differently. I thought they were going to take us around north campus for a walk and stare and beautiful trees and be at one with earh but it wasn't so at all. We got to do such fun stuff. like draw and walk around with bare feet and walk backwards while everyone else stared at us like we were crazy, i think that was the best part, it kind of felt like oooo i belong to this group that gets to walk around backwards, and people stared at us, we weren't crazy though, we were just having fun. Not only that, I feel like I got to know people a little better because we were all being silly at once. Then I walked to lecture in the rain with the rest of the art school and sat throught a kind of boring lecture, which i just remembered i have to do hw for, anyway, i walked out and it was raining still and my shoes got wet and I was really upset because I love these shoes, but I think they're ok.
Friday, I took a bunch of pictures of everything, went to class, did some work, went to disgusting dinner, went to cru meeting, hung out with some people in the cold infront of big ten burrito, which was fun, I saw 8th graders out at like 10 pm and I was like wow...and then a bunch of their parents came out and yelled at them to wait and not walk to far from them.
Today...i went to a women's brunch, which i love, being a woman, and sharing with other girls...being a girl, it was great fun
then i spent 4 hours in the freezing cold library. I get that they are trying to keep you awake and all, but it is just so cold in there that I could not think, so I left, spent 40 min. getting dinner, did the rest of my work (most of it) I really should keep studying, and do that discussion hw,
now a few wise words from ms. Karla: i do not have wise words but really i just wanted to write on this funky because im envious of the fact that i dont have one...i would not remember to write anyway so its okie! but by the way this girl is the cool girl and im not just writing this so shell let me write again or because shes my sister but really shes fantabulous but really im sure you guys already knew that. Umm...im being told that thats enough
~ theres nothing in this mug
ooo now Im famous! ;)

oooo

I had forgotten how much I enjoyed photography and especially being in a dark room developing pictures. There is just something about it. I feel that there is so much creativity and beautiful work that goes into each part of the process of making a picture, and, each part is so much fun. I could spend endless hours taking pictures, developing them, looking at them, experimenting with them, etc. I really want to try to take advantage of these short 6 weeks that I get to take photography and go into it with no fear, just be as creative as possible and do if for me, for my own entertainment, not for a grade, not for other people just for me. I've decided that that is when my work is at its best, when I don't think of the expectations from other people, I only think of my own. I tend to make that mistake a lot, I assume what it is that people or teachers want to see and the result is never satisfactory for me...or for other people...I want to take advantage of this last weeks of school and remember that I make art because I am passionate about it and because I have fun with it.
I am interviewing the cleaning lady in my dorm house, and I talked to her today, she gave me a hug after we talked, it was so touching, she is awesome, I hope I can make something truly genunily good, for her, she deserves it!
I had corn for dinner...not because there wasnt anything else to eat, i just love corn...
oh, how i love wednesdays!!!

I have to say

I absolutely adore the Bay City Rollers, they put me in such a happy mood its great, if you are reading this and you're like...who the hell are the bay city rollers, I strongly suggest that u find some of their music, its great rock and roll, fun, silly music.
Campus was gorgeous today, i woke up disoriented from a bad dream but also because it was actually light outside! it completely threw me off.
I have no alarm clock because...i can't figure out how to work it, which is really stupid I know! I have had it for months now and its almost the end of my freshman year like...how lame is that, but it wont work properly, anyway...i actually wake up on time! on my own! I am so proud of myself!
ok...work work work
back to work

:) :) :)

SO! I haven't written in a couple of days...and it's not that I forget...I just don't remember, if that makes sense. [If you're really smart I'm sure it does ;)]
Anyway, overall my break was good, coming back I realize that I actually did have a lot of time to rest and it was just really nice and relaxing to not have to worry about anything, anything. I feel very refreshed and absolutely ready to finish off the semester!
It is really nice to come back, I actually missed my room! it's such a lovely room and I love my house, it's not derpessing to come back to, it is the exact opposite!
I am really in the mood for coffee today and I never ever drink coffee, I don't like it and I think it's bad for the body, but today I am really in the mood for some, I think it's the weather
gotta go to class!

ashes

Yes, today is or was ash wednesday and I went to church today to receive the ashes because they are a reminder that we are mortals and with them a period of cleansing begins. After receiving ashes, the father mentioned that with them we take a stand and we are true to Jesus and God. I would like to think that if Jesus were to come to our world again, I would stand and say I believe in him, I however know that social taboos and the fear of being laughed at or looked upon as crazy would make it harder to do so, but I do believe in a higher power and divinity.
I went to blockbuster after mass, and the cashier kept on staring at me while ringing up the movies and all and I couldn't figure out why, until I walked out and saw my reflection on the glass door and realized that I had a giant cross on my forehead...damn proud!
ta-ta for now