My new favorite song is Express yourself by charles wright
my new favorite fruit are nectarines

the material

COACH AND NINEWEST CAN HAVE MY LIFE

I haven't talked about the new member of the family, its a brand new fully equipped red Jeep Compass and I love it! It is by far my favorite car that my family has ever had! I like to hug it whenever I get the chance.

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident

the art of losing's not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

--Elizabeth Bishop

I smell really good

I surprisingly smell ridiculously good, like i get this lovely smell and i say to myself, what is thaat!?? and I realize its me, i thought I'd share that.
I was going to write about this yesterday but I realized I didn't, im really out of it though, I feel really weak today, I can hardly get out of bed and a fork has never weighed so much!
I literally have to ask my arms for permission to move, but I feel fine, I just wish I didn't have to be in bed, I can't just be in bed but I think that's why God is doing this to me, I always put others before me and I would rather take care of someone else than myself and I don't learn the lesson so this is the only way that God can get me to slow down and say relax, stop worrying about others and worry about yourself, now rest!
anyway, what I really wanted to write about was that yesterday I took a shower and got in bed and watched tv and there was nothing interesting I was getting bored and really wanted to get out of bed and do something and then suddenly at 1 pm i was flipping through the channels and there it was, my favorite movie ever starting on tv!!!! Serendipity!!! I really think it was a sign, its hardly ever played on tv and it made me sooooooooooooooooooo happy, I can't explain how happy it made me, like soooooooooooo happy haha! it really was a sign of you're gonna be ok ana!
I love that movie, I know every line by heart, i know what song is about to play and it never ever gets old, it gave me hope, it sounds silly i know but it did, not hope for one single specific thing, just hope :)

Dear year 2006:
You suck! you have been so mean to me and even though intuition told me you were gonna be hard on me from day one, I underestimated you! but you know what!??? I still win! soon you'll be gone and I will still be alive, move on and forget about you! plus 2007 will be much better to me! You, 2006, are not liked!

Beaumont

So...I spent two days in the hospital...yeah...
I suddenly found myself in the emergency room early morning on thursday with a fever, with a poked right arm and attached to I.V. and on a very uncomfortable bed and it took the entire day for doctors to figure out what I had.
First, it was my ovary, poor left ovary, but after useless exams and a very painful ultra sound, my ovaries are fine.
So then, the doctor insisted that I had early appendicitis, by the way that doctor graduated from U of M and he was clueless, by white blood cell count was really high, by this time it was already 7 pm and I hadn't eaten anything and he insisted that I had cronic abdonimal pain, which I really didn't, so he wouldn't let me eat. So I had a cat scan done, that was fun, except for the solution they make you drink but then they inject iodine and you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and its fun, So I obviously was not going home and I was given a room in observation, with tv and all, very private all the hospital staff acted like it was a big deal. I really wanted to go home though, like all the pain, the fever, even the need to sleep was gone, I felt fine, but noooo my catscan showed that I had severe intestinal inflamation...colitis (that word makes me laugh, I think it's really funny) and so I had to be checked into the hosptial. They sent me to pediatrics because after all I'm only 19 (that's what the nurse said) It was really fun though, the bed was incredibly comfortable and it adjusts according to your body and all, its so much fun! and the hallway had these huuuge colored dots and the walls were all different colors, I faced a lime green and blue wall, so that made me happy, it comforted me because I did feel a little scared, I didn't know how severe it was. And you get your own individual t.v. and nurses come in and check your blood pressure and temperature like every hour. So I was able to sleep and all the next day I had to have blood drawn again, I was given ridiculous amounts of potassium, who knew we have a limit for how low our potassium can be... and potassium really really hurts so I was given a pain killer, which put me to sleep for like 2 hours, I think it's really funny how you can feel in seconds what you are being injected and you react to it right away, like I immediatly passed out. I was also injected antibiotics and more I.V. but no food. The food lady kept on coming in to the room with food trays for my mom and she'd yell, not for you for your mom and everytime I was woken up from my sleep it was because of her, I still like her though. I also had another test done for which I had to be given and anesthetic, all I remember from that is the white milky looking stuff going into the I.V. tube...like the first ml, and then waking up to the doctor saying it was nothing too serious that I had to eat all fluids and mashed potatoes, when I proceeded to yell, I love mashed potatoes! and then mumbled and fell asleep again, and then they finally fed me at like 7 at night, the yummiest chicken noodle soup i've ever had, (it probably wasnt that good, i was just really really hungry) and then I was released at midnight and wheeled out. I can walk a little, can't really do much yet, I feel dizzy and tired and like I have no energy but I thank God that it wasn't anything too severe.
It really wasn't that bad, except for the emergency room, which, emergency rooms really have to be improved and need more personel, I kept getting mad at the old ppl because they all got to leave and I didn't and I didn't get to shower for two full days, and I hadn't showered the day before soo my shower today was pure glory, I kept on getting poked for my blood because my of my low potassium and low blood sugar and I didn't get a big balloon.
All the nurses were really really nice and sweet and made me feel safe and looked after and of course my awesome mom who was there with me!
Now I just have to get my energy back and I was supposed to move in to school today, but as soon as I feel ok, I'll be able to go, yay!!!

city lights and what not

It's me! Smile Ana! You are looking reeeeeally tan!

everytime I looked for my parents, I found them here!

Cleopatra, Caesar, their servant and two random people

I thought it was marshmallow but it turned out to be banana... yuck! but it was ok bc I had cotton candy before that and like 4 other pastries plus rainbow sorbet

Cirque du Soleil at TI... fabulous and could-not-stop-laughing-funny!

Oh me and my shopping spree! If you are really feeling in the mood to shop, go to Vegas! while my mom and dad spent their time at the casinos, my sister and I shopped, it was soo much fun!

the Bellagio Fountain! it is so much fun to wait there 10 min and see water dancing to a song. I loved the Bellagio

Sun Vegas Style!

This was my absolute favorite part of the trip! Being out in the sun and seriously being there, everybody looks just as tan as the next person so it's hard to notice how tan you really are, until you come home and lets just say that I have no need for blush anymore, my cheeks are always red! and I also have bathing suit marks...really marked!
The Garden of the Gods at the Caesar's Palace is like heaven, I could have spent all day there, but we would get up at 8 am when it opened, and stay there until 1 pm and have lunch there and read and swim and the pools were soo much fun, the one with the Gazibo type of thing was freezing cold. Karla and I are convinced that it used to be a fountain and they made it a pool but the don't heat the water at all, not even a little bit. My mom made us swim across it so she could take a picture of us on the stairs and it was painful and the worst part is that after you swim onto the gazibo steps, you have to swim back to get out! and it was so so so cold, but it was still fun. All the pools are named after a god or goddess, like Venus, Apollo, etc.
The weather obviously is very dry, so whoever was the genius to put down a resort there, pave some streets, put some pools and make it extravagant, yay for you!

*Us being wet ducks!


*My sis and I enjoying the gorgeous morning sun


*You can't tell but we are freezing cold!


*And my bubble toes!

Le Grand Canyon

Ay! what to say??? the grand canyon! breathtaking, I don't think there is a better word to describe it. I spent a day and a half there and it felt like a week! not in a bad way though, just that it is such a peaceful place. No wonder artists and writers find inspiration in the western part of the country, anyone looking for an answer, will find it here. My dad planned a surprise helicopter ride for us! he kept telling us that we were going to ride the mules down to the canyon and that we got to pick the size of the mule we wanted, the bigger ones were of course more expensive. And then he drove to the airport and IT WAS AWESOME! Like i said I erased the pictures we took in the helicopter of each other with our headphones on but I still have some of the gorgeous scenery. I got to sit right up front next to the capitan, which was a girl! she was really nice, we had a whole conversation about Lola and how she had just gotten a camera like mine and was learning to use it. At first I was kind of nervous because I do have this thing about heights, I'm scared! and I had windows all around me, even down to my feet, it was just glass, but it was so beautiful to watch that I forgot about it and it truly was an unforgettable experience.
We went into the park and walked around, shopped a little and ate there too, and this group of Chinese children were wearing red hats and they all gathered in a group and sang to the Grand Canyon and it was sooo beautiful, there is really no way to explain it, but I was in tears, they were seriously the best chorus I've ever heard. We asked them what their song was about and they said it was about eternal beauty. I think it was one of the best parts of my trip, listening to them sing. That day was a little cloudy but it was still hot outside and as we had dinner, out of the nowhere, it just started to hail, but seriously hail, the pavement suddenly turned white and this lasted for like 10 min. afterwards the sun came out again. It reminded me of when I was little and lived in Mexico and I loved it when it hailed because as soon as it stopped my sister and I would get out little plastic buckets (the ones you take to the beach and make sand castles with) and we would gather the little hail balls and it was our attempt to fill up the buckets as fast as possible so we could play with the ice, but of course by the time we did, the ice would turn into water.
The morning after we got up really early at 5 am and we watched the sunrise over the Grand Canyon, it was so relaxing, so peaceful and so strenghtening, I did a sun salutation and felt such a wonderful energy, I was happy the rest of the day!

So here we go

Im gonna start from the beginning and talk about the high lights of my trip! So I don't know how long this will take, a couple of posts I guess but there were some really fun memorable moments that I want to write about.
The Hoover Dam!
I was absolutely astonished at the grandeur and marvelous architecture of this project. Even more so that it was built in the 1930's! I had seen it on tv and knew what it looked like but being there was amazing and I cannot believe that men were able to build this. I really liked the feel of it, even though the heat was way to extreme to be out there more than 15 minutes, it was so fun to be able to stand there and admire tons of concrete that could build an interstate highway from L.A. to Boston! I have this thing about huge amounts of concrete and metal together, for some reason, it just creeps me out, it really is like phobia, like bridges and stuff, but this dam felt so peaceful, and The Colorado River is beautiful.
Here is my lovely sister and me trying to find shade away from the sun that felt like it was grilling us, and my dad pretending to almost jump, because he is convinced that people have jumped from the dam and he thinks its funny, and for some reason there was a sign going in to the bridge to cross over to Arizona that said, stay in cars... like who would dare to get out of their car, it's creepy! and there was also a sign that said heat kills... I thought that was pretty funny too ha!

What Happens in Vegas...

Stays in Vegas... but I will still talk about the trip because it was so so so much fun that I just HAVE to talk about it. From the very beginning of the trip, our drive to the Grand Canyon where, yes, the west is very much like the make it to be in all the movies, to the suprise helicopter ride (dad's surprise) to the Hoover Dam! city lights, awesome shows, Mystere, the shopping and the gorgeous Garden of the Gods pool at the Ceasar's palace, it was alll sooo what I needed. I am so glad that I was able to get away and see new things, meet new people and enjoy being far away. I have to say, life out there, especially out by the Grand Canyon is so different that what it is like here in Michigan and in the eastern part of the country. I don't know if it's just me, but time goes by so slowly, the days are everlasting and people just enjoy time better, it's like...time is the most abundant luxury out there. Even in Vegas, people go out there to lounge and relax, my perception is that fast-paced life is non-existant out there. It was all great though, it was soo new to me and so different, but so good. The Canyon lodges are up in the mountains in the middle of nowhere, where...cell phones don't get a signal, the town is less than a mile long, there are 3 restaurants, a bunch of souvenir stores, one general store and all these buildings look like they are falling apart, sooo rustic, but nice, very welcoming, even the woods, the park, nature is welcoming. There is also an IMAX theatre, that of course plays a short documentary about the Grand Canyon. I have, easily over 250 pictures from the entire trip, I will not even attempt to share all of them, because that would take an eternity but I will share a good bunch of them with y'all, I am very excited about doing so! I committed a great stupidity. I took two cameras with me, Lola, my baby, she is the love of my life and she is bruised!!!! Her lense is not fitting in properly so I have to get her checked, but she held in there and gave us some great pictures and then a tiny camera, which doesn't really inspire me to name her, but I still like it (I do notice that I refer to cameras by "her") anyway, I was trying to make the tiny camera take normal pictures instead of fine so that we could get more pictures into it and I very stupidly deleted all the pictures that we had already taken, most importantly the pictures from the helicopter ride, inside the helicopter, that were absolutely adorable and I really hate myself for that, I cried the whole night, not believing that I had done that. WE still have some from that day, but I so wish I could get the deleted pictures back. A side from that, we ate, we drank, we walked, we saw, we did, and my parents gambled ha!
If you had asked me before how I felt about going to Las Vegas, I would have said, no way forget it, never going there!
If you ask me now, I will say, I will go back someday.

We got up at 5 am to go watch the sunrise over the grand canyon and this was the first picture of the sun creeping up the canyon, it was freezing cold, and i had to stand on this rock that if I had fallen, I would have def. broken a bone, but it was so worth it.

My favorite favorite hotel in Las Vegas was the Venetian, such a beautiful hotel, I however stayed like 2 blocks away at the Caesar's Palace.

This is a picture from the helicopter ride coming in to the Grand Canyon, scary and so exciting at the same time!

I don't believe that

Damn it!

Out of all the shoes that I own...I don't own a pair of black dressy shoes! damn it! what kind of girl am I??? I had this thing against black for a really long time but now I'm starting to get back into liking black and a pair of black dressy shoes seem really necessary.

I don't feel so good today, I feel like...not aligned. Waking up at 5 am every single day is not really working for me anymore.
But! like always, I found something to cheer me up!!!
Here he is, this is the first ripe tomato of our little garden, I really should have taken this picture outside in his own niche, but I think he still shines with all his glory! isn't he marvelous!!!?
Yay for tomatoes!

cheese balls!!!

I found cheese balls yesterday at the grocery store! It totally made my day (night) and I totally bought some! I haven't had cheese balls in years and I honestly thought cheese balls were extinct (sp?) I think this is a perfect example of how when you stop looking for something you want, you will find it!

No, No quiero ser esa mujer
ella se fue a un abismo
y tu
no eres aquel que prometio
seria mi súper héroe, y que
todo acabo, no queda mas
seremos dos extraños, yo
te olvidare, me olvidaras
hasta nunca.

Y donde quedo , ese botón
que lleva a la felicidad
luna de miel, rosa pastel
clichés y tonterias
y al final ni hablar
los dos nos destruimos
y al final que tal
tu y yo ya no existimos
-Belanova

I like pate

When I was little my parents would out an inflatable pool on sunny days, and my sister and I would run down with our yellow robes and pink bathing suits, and swim and afterwards we would sit on the grass and eat paté and crackers and ohhh how I loved it! It is one of my favorite childhood memories. I think the only reason I eat paté now is because it reminds me of those days.
Being a girl can be so much fun somtimes, my sister and I went shopping for make up, well I went because I needed my moisturizing lotion which I CANNOT live without and I needed blush. But the Clinique lady was so nice that she convinced me to buy a lip gloss and convinced Karla to buy blush and eye shadow, she was great, I really do not regret spending that money!
And then we went to look for shoes, that is, Karla wanted a pair of black stilettos but like always I fail the test and fell in love with a pair of wedges. They were on sale though! and I used my very own money to pay for those, so Im convinced it was a good buy.
So much for my wish for a cultural trip, no more Montreal, I am going to Las Vegas with my family, Im still excited though, I just want a hotel with a nice pool and nice sunny days, I've never been there, I really do not know what to expect. but yay!

sometimes I wish I were a song writer

*That I would be good
Even if I did nothing
That I would be good
Even if I got the thumbs down

*That I would be good
If I got and stayed sick
That I would be good
Even if I gained 10 pounds

That I would be fine
Even if I went bankrupt
*That I would be good
If I lost my hair and my youth

That I would be great
If I was no longer queen
That I would be grand
If I was not on a wing

*That I would be loved
Even when I'm not myself
*That I would be good
Even when I am overwhelmed

That I would be loved
Even when I was fuming
That I would be good
Even if I was clinging

*That I would be good
Even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you
- Alanis M.

I attempted to write this really looong entry about everything but then it just became a mess, so I deleted it. I am not finding the right words today, but still I have this really big desire to write about something. I guess it happens, I think that when we most want to say something, or write something or express ourselves in some kind of way, we cant. There is no focus, no real level of concentration which in turn can lead to frustration, if we let it!
I want to go out today and eat outside, in a place full of flowers and enjoy a delicious hearty meal. The medicine that I am taking has me a little out of balance, its really strong and well Im tiny so itll take some getting used to. I read the instructions and side effects and I have to take it with food and an 8 0z glass of water four times a day, and I cannot lie down for 30 minutes after taking the medicine. It can cause temporary weight loss while one gets used to it, heart burn, abdominal pain, back pain and oh by the way, rare fatal intestinal problems have been reported. There has got to be a better way around our health problems.
These are the vague thoughts roaming through the inner-depths of my unconsciousness,
i cried you last night
I still remember february, march, and april
if only i had known that it was the beginning of the end
if only you missed those times like i miss them
if only we had actually been destined for each other
when did time stop being on our side?
But when I turn back, you will be but a distant memory.

my day

ay ay ay
I went to the dentist today and I have the...blah blah blah, in the blah blah blah and so I have to go to the blah blah blah and have the blah blah blah done. The thing is I have to take medicine and that will make the swelling go down yay!
I was sad to see that my old doctor wasnt there, my friends twin, not that they are twins but my friend will look like my ex dentist in 30 years or so. So now I have a new dentist, who looks like nobody I know, but he is really nice.
Then I drove AAAAALL over town and I mean ALLL over, exhausting!
and I listened to oldies music, it was trés fun!
so in honor of oldies music, here, enjoy, sing it! it will make you smile!!!

I've got sunshine
On a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside,
I've got the month of May.
Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)
I've got so much honey
The bees envy me.
I've got a sweeter songThan the birds in the trees.
Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)

Ooooh, Hoooo.

Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
I don't need no money,
Fortune or fame.
I've got all the riches, baby,
One man can claim.
Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)
Talkin' bout my girl.
I've got sushine on cloudy day
With my girl.
I've even got the month of May With my girl.

now im off to eat my entire kitchen because im soo hungry, take a nap and yoga time!

The tree

When I was little my mother and father planted a tree together. I used to dance and run around it every afternoon. It was a pear tree that took up most of our tiny yard, I loved to dig out the dirt, especially when wearing a white dress and my mom would have to come outside and half laughing half yelling, she made me go inside, until I understood that I could not dig out the dirt from the tree.
Later on, my mother and father planted another tree, this was a peach tree, It was big and decorated the corner of our fence with its leaves. I would go out and stare at it every afternoon waiting for a peach. It took years for it to finally give peaches, and in the end I think I was only able to eat two or three of its peaches, they were good peaches though. I think the peach tree is my greatest memory from that old house.
Now, my mother and father have planted a tree in our backyard, we are happy now because we have a front yard and a back yard, before, we only had a yard...tiny yard. I no longer go out to play around the tree, and this tree has no fruit to give, but it has beautiful flowers surrounding it.

time out

I just want to take a second to "write-down" how stunning I've felt lately, I don't think I've ever felt as beautiful and marvelously gorgeous as I've felt lately. I may sound egotistic and stuck up, yet, it is important that we find time in our days to look at ourselves and thank our bodies for the way the are, for carrying us through each day and for allowing us to be. It is important to notice what our body is lacking, and grant it attention before anything else, 2 minutes a day, that's all it takes (figure of speech). It's ok to feel pretty, or sexy or handsome, in fact I think it should be encouraged...remembering that everything in extremes is bad for the body, mind and soul.
After 2 months of waiting my sister finally recieved a check from the airline that managed to destroy her entire wardrobe on our way to Mexico, and that check is damn pretty, I think she'll have a blast at the mall whenever she decides to go.
I, recieved 500 dollars from Ford to go buy a car...unfortunately my dad works for Chrysler, it would be like betrayal to the family.
I have a tooth ache...again! This time around im not so worried, it only hurts when I'm outside because of the heat and I already know what's going to happen, I have my doctor's appointment on thursday, but, I've decided that if I were to become a drug addict, not that I will, I currently have no reason to drown in depression and take the iniciative of becoming a drug addict, but if I did, I would become a motrin addict...or excedrin.
I keep seeing the number 11 everywhere!!! it doesn't bother me, like it doesn't scare me or anything, it calms me down, its a nice number to look at, and I get why I keep seeing it, but like...what comes after number 11?
As the writer of this blog, there is an evolution behind the reasons of why I write, as time passes, the things that matter in my life change and therefore I begin to have different reasons behind all this blah blah, this is the first time I notice that change, it's happened before, I've just never noticed it, I think its great, I like.