patience

i feel like crying, like i am being held back and can't do anything about it, and i could keep on pushing, i could keep on trying to let loose, but it wouldn't do much because there is no one standing there to catch me.
meaningless. meaningless. meaningless.
It is starting to become a bore.

another grapefruitless morning

Oh when will the grapefruits be back!!! I can only wonder and hope that tmw morning when I go downstairs for breakfast I will see delicious grapefruit
Today is such a bahhh day, I don't know why recently I haven't felt the need to write, I can't seem to gather thoughts in my head that are actually interesting or worthy or writing.
Perhaps you and I blog need a break from each other. It's not you, it's me.

I no longer have love handles

I really honestly kind of miss them, it may sound really weird, but i never meant for them to disappear. Its kind of like...i lost a part of me because my love handles used to be such a part of me like ana used to = love handles. And the worst part is...i never noticed when they left me, they just kind of did. its funny how those things happen, how our bodies change with time and we dont really notice, but they do.
I haven't written in forever and there truly is sooo much that i would like to write about but its all a mess in my head, that...well it wouldn't make sense. I think what it all comes down to however, is that, life will hand you lemons and you decide what you make with them, in this case I am making lemonade. And, you know, we believe that life is some complicated scheme that is way too hard to figure out and...its really not. You just have to have a clear understanding of the things you want and the things you believe in and...life/destiny will guide you.
A lot of times we don't see the result of our actions as fast as we wish we could, and so we grow frustrated, we grow impatient and we may even stop believing, but, life has this funny way of rewarding us when we least expect it, when we stop asking for things, they just come to us. We do deserve certain things in life, its knowing how to wait for them that matters.
Even though this was suuuch a hard week to get through in some matters, it was rewarding, it was a motivating week, it was one of those weeks that if I looked back upon it months from now, I would probably cry.
I have these gorgeous flowers, that i very unexpectedly received from a very unexpected person ;) and they are gorgeous and they mean a lot to me, so thank you unexpected person. There will always be love from me to you and more than anything being able to talk to you, meant the world to me, because...you know why, it just did.
Art...yeah...theres just something about it (im nodding my head)...it makes me smile.
music too, dancing and singing makes me smile, even though i cant sing but i can definitely dance.
I just feel like giving everybody I see a big hug and telling them to smile because all good things come to us, they really do, and its a great feeling. It's delightful.

happy as a peach

Even though I only got four hours of sleep...today was a great awesome day, it was almost surreal like...do I really deserve such a good day, because its not that I dont deserve things, but I usually dont get sooooo many great things in one day and it made me happy, like...faith is important. It guides us, no matter how tense or stressful life can get, it simply guides us and I strongly believe in giving, simply giving even if I dont get credit or anything in return, giving just feeds my soul.
I love knowing that I am capable to do things, just whatever it is, if I put my mind to it, it works, it just works and I am being so much better about not stressing, about letting things work how they want to, honestly...we have no control over life or where it takes us.
I heart yoga with...all my heart, haha. I really do though, its sooo great, its so ahhh, wonderful.
Mmmmmonday, thank you for being so good to me.

hoooolaaa

Soo...this is the first stressful weekend I have had since the beginning of the semester and I believe it is worthy of noting because well...I have to start complaining some time right??? It's actually not that bad because I enjoy all the work that I do but, its just too much at once! I think we are bad planners, we always manage to pile a huge amount of work at the same time and assume that we can get it all done when really...its too much! Im getting there though. This test I have tomorrow is stressing me out, kind of, because, I have no idea what it is going to be on.
I have pictures, not right now because I still have to download them unto my computer but, soon, I will beautify this blog with pretty pictures.
There is too much in my mind and in my heart and in my soul, I wish I could just brush it all off but, its one of those things that...you know when ppl tell you, don't think of pink elephants, what do you think of? PINK ELEPHANTS!
and so...I guess its not even worth mentioning anymore, because well...it can get me in trouble and I don't have time or the mind frame for trouble anymore....it kind of feels like opression doesnt it Ana? (this is me thinking outloud) And so, what do wise people do when they can't yell at the world when they are hurting...they practice yoga! :)
anyway, I want to let the world know how much I love my parents and admire their desire to live like there is no tomorrow. I discover everyday that they were meant for each other, no matter how much they fight and the bad memories we may have of the past, they are too good together to be apart.
I am oh so excited for tonight! It's my very first bridal shower (of my actual friends, not my mom's) and yay! its good to be pink, its good to be a girl, it gives us the privilidge to celebrate life in great great fun ways. And its kind of exciting, its like...one of the good things about growing up and be part of, its hard to exlpain but it makes me smile.

"Do you remember telling me you found the sweetest thing of all
You said one day this was worth dying for
So be thankful you knew me at all."

we only get what we give

Wake up kids
We've got the dreamers disease
Age 14 we got you down on your knees
So polite, you're busy still saying please
Fri - enemies, who when you're down ain't your friend
Every night we smash their Mercedes - Benz
First we run and then we laugh till we cry
But when the night is falling
And you cannot find the light
If you feel your dream is dying
Hold tight
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget you only get what you give
Four a. m. we ran a miracle mile
Were flat broke but hey we do it in style
The bad rich
God's flying in for your trial

This whole damn world can fall apart
You'll be ok follow your heart
You're in harms way
I'm right behind
Now say youre mine

I am freeeeakkinnnng oooout!!!

Screaming at the top of my lungs jumping up and down and swinging my arms all over!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALEJANDRO SANZ JUST RELEASED A NEW SINGLE AND....ITS A SIIIIGN, ITS SOOO MY SOOOONG AND I LOOOOOOVE IT.
I dont just love the song, I love him for making such great music, music that just speaks to me. MMMMM cannot possibly describe how happy I am right now!! He just makes everything better, no matter what it is, he just makes it better.
My goal is to make it to a concert of his in the very very VERY near future.
He is the love of my life!
and just because I am nice
here, enjoy!
http://www.alaprimerapersona.com/

YAAAAAAYYYYYYYY

the happiness in our lives

is the result of caring for ourselves and caring for others. The unhappiness in our lives is the result of only caring for ourselves.
this holds so true and its so sad when people cant see it, or understand it, or even worse, they dont even attempt to analyze their behavior and see just why they are so unhappy.
If there is one thing that bothers me, and I had not noticed before is...selfishness. there is something about selfish people that really gets to me. how can it be that there are people that only care for themselves and cant stop to think about the people in their lives, even more so, they only notice the people in their lives when they are feeling in need of help or support and once they get it, they walk away.
people, dont be selfish, learn to share the love, be giving, in an unconditional way, be giving, it will make you happy.

im thinking thinking that i need to hold back, stay right where i am.

the things im starting to love

Its not so much that I am starting to love, perhaps I always liked these things. I just never paid much attention to them and now I am. You know its funny how, there are different levels at which we can like things. Im not really sure that makes sense, but I don't want to be one of those people that lives stuck in the past. I know too well that life doesn't work that way. The world doesn't stop for us to come back to the past. I like noticing the "new things." And, it doesn't mean I am changing or replacing the past, I am simply growing. There is nothing better than realizing just how it is we grow, just how we let others into our lives and just how we can make a difference in someone's life.
I don't know why recently I've been having such a hard time explaining myself, or getting people to understand what I am saying. I used to be much better at explaining myself, don't know what happened. Must have something to do with the loosing everything and being so forgetful.
Do you ever have those days where you just smile at yourself and think to yourself, damn, i am nearly perfect? Its not to sound arrogant at all, really, its everything but arrogance, its confidence, its being at one with yourself and accepting yourself for who you are. Its not letting the damn fears get in the way. I am working on those fears. There of course, is no perfect, I've established that many times.
Oh how blessed I am to know that no matter how gloomy the day can get, I am looked after, I am lucky enough to always have your presence here with me. :)
It's so funny how simple things can bring such joy to our souls. at least to me, and I am sort of beginning to see the light after such a long time of "hardships" which seem oh so silly now. But, simply looking out the window makes me smile. Eating grapefruit makes me smile. A line from a song makes me smile. Feeding squirrels and eating chocolate (not at the same time) makes me smile.
Im hoping for a good week. Im hoping that I can get done everything that I need to get done and do it right because oh boy, do I have stuff to do!
I kind of wish I had a picture for y'all but...I don't. next time.

I'm playing with my toes

plain, plain, easy to get.
get it?

first snow of the year

Ay ay ay, how exciting!!! I know it is terrible that its mid-October and it shouldn't be this cold, but there is something about that first snow...it just never gets old. It always feels like I am nine years old again, waiting for winter becaue I was going to see a snowfall for the very first time. And so I walked home...in the middle of the snow blizzard and loved every minute of it. There is something...magical, for lack of a better word, about the first snow of the year.

I started my self-portrait in drawing studio today....it made me realize that yes I am incredibly gorgeous but I am going to have wrinkles at 30! not old lady looking like wrinkles, you know...cute endering wrinkles but they're still wrinkles...baaah.

teal is pretty

the title has nothing to do with what Im about to write, but teal IS pretty.
Anyway...I think history is such an important part of our education and people need to take the time to study history in depth. Honestly, honestly, those who ignore the past absolutely cannot understand the present and much less...the future. And! the worst part is that people dare to talk about history when they know nooothing nooothing about it and try to apply to our present. Like, seriously people...just dont, if you dont have anything to back up your argument with, keep your mouth shut. It is frustrating to see how, Im really sorry, but, ignorant people live in this world and dare to speak their points of view with no valid "sources" for what they are saying, andd...you make yourself look bad.

Pheww...ok...calming down...
Eleven is most positively my favorite number now a days...remember how I wrote about it a couple months ago...it's still happening, its a sign.
Yellow is beautiful.

random thoughts

I don't like water. It should be one of those things that I should be thankful for, but, it takes me such a long time to get used to just drinking water. I have to keep telling myself...its good for you and you'll have gorgeous skin.

The meanest people are sometimes those that complain about mean people.

Memories are good, they never leave us, they are like eternal unconditional friends.

I totally skipped class today, but, im feeling ok about it.

...if i were to describe this tuesday in one word, it would be...confusing.

I love the word linger, it has got to be one of the greatest words ever.

i have faith in that I won't break any plates at work tonite.

reflecting

Im just going to write about today because it was good, it's one of those days you want to have happen over and over, its one of those days that serves as reprieve. It was gorgeous outside, with beautiful weather and beautiful sun. I was outside the entire afternoon laying out in the sun and doing homework. It was so incredibly enjoyable and relaxing. Nature is a good thing, enjoying nature is something we should all do at least one day a week.
Then, I got free conditioner out in the street, this group of people just gave it to me, they were doing some kind of activity and it was really funny and they took my picture. So I guess now I will have to start using conditioner, I will let you know if its good or not.
There is a ton of leaves on the grass in the diag now because well...fall is here and so these parents were playing with their little kid, who must have been three years old. They were tossing the leaves up in the air and burying him with the leaves and they were having so much fun, it made me wish that was me. Thats what I want my sundays to be like in 15 years when I'm married and have little kids.
Change is scary, it is good, but sometimes it feels too fast and it becomes frightening. Like, there is no one there to carry me through the threshold and let me know that I will be ok, that it will be better at the other side of the bridge. It's intimidating though, at it kind of feels like I would be leaving a big part of me behind, a part of me that I am still very attached to. It feels nostalgic, but it may just be right, maybe it is really time to move on, if nothing can be done to start over, then there is no need to force things, it may just be time to move on.
I've come to the conclusion that this is the year of losing things. I'm still standing.

I have oceans of hope

I hope that today was a super lovely memorable day for everybody. I hope it was a happy day for everbody.

tequila

I could go for some tequila right about now
and tomorrow too.

good day for a good song

Siguiendo la luna no llegare lejos,
tan lejos como se pueda llegar
las cosas que dije no tienen sentido
no puedo detenerme, ponerme a pensar, oh

siguiendo La Luna y su vuelta invisible
la noche seguro que me alcanzara
no es que tu mirada me sea imposible
tan solo es la forma como caminas.

Vamos mi cariño que todo esta bien
esta noche cambiare, te juro que cambiare
vamos mi cariño ya no llores mas
por vos yo bajaría el sol o me hundiría en el mar.
Y esto parece verdad para mi.

Suena como un crimen lo que tu me has hecho
deberias ir a parar a la prisión
suena como un crimen que me hayas mentido
que hayas engañado a este corazón oh

Siguiendo La Luna no llegare lejos,
tan lejos como se pueda llegar
son casi las cuatro de la madrugada
mi casa brillaba, cruzando ese mar.

Vamos mi cariño que todo esta bien
esta noche cambiare, te juro que cambiare
vamos mi cariño ya no llores mas
por vos yo bajaría el sol o me hundiría en el mar.
Esto parece verdad para mi...

Siguiendo la luna- Los Fabulosos Cadillacs
(the bestest part about this song is the name of the band, yes i did say bestest)

the things I learned today

People say that we never stop learning, we learn something new everyday. I think we all take learning for granted. It doesnt necessarily require a big textbook, research paper, or a huge effort from our part, there are simple things that still matter and we should consider.
Babies when they are first born recognize solid colors and patterns better than anything else. Although pastel colors are lovely it is better to have solid colors such as black white and red in their rooms because it stimulates them visually.
If you have a 067 on your license as your part of your license number, one of your names is either Ann or Ana.
You could be sitting next to someone and not know it, but in fact, you have both lived in the same city in a foreign country and remember places like, Xochimilco, Naucalpan and Atzcapotzalco. Its great! :)
People you rarely talk to, or ppl who know you very well are wishing the best outcome of things for you. (does that make sense? it does in my head)
Sit-down dinners will probably become the most memorable times of your time in college if you live in Martha Cook and sit at my table.
And finally, rainy days and thunder don't have to be scary, they can be pretty excellent days.

tic tac tic tac

I don't know what to write about today
I can complain about how much I don't want to go to classes tomorrow.
I want a big hug and a yummy dinner.

hello October

Steal my heart and hold my tongue.
I feel my time, my time has come.
Let me in, unlock the door.
I've never felt this way before.

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummer begins to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know which way I've come.

Hold my hand inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I've waited all these years.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come.
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you'll come, and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you say,
"I wouldn't change a single thing."

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know what I've become.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,
Until my days, my days are done.
Say you'll come and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
-til kingdom come (coldplay)

sunny sundays

I just came back from hanging out with the jam prof. aka tom the man that sits out at the diag everyday and plays his harmonica spoons and wash board. He is sooo fun to talk to! I love making projects were I reach out to somebody and get to know about them, it really puts purspose behind the work I do. I feel like I care more about my projects this way because I owe it to the person who gave up an hour of their time to share a little about them with me! Plus its always fun to meet unique interesting people.
I have these pretty flowers in my room that came to me for no reason haha, they are lovely. I have them on my desk in a nalgene bottle and they are gorgeous...I don't know what they are called and the batteries for my camera died so I can't take a picture but they are oh so pretty!
Though you all might enjoy looking at Mr. Raccoon. He makes me laugh.