So here is the thing about

me. I used to think that everybody else dealt with problems except for me. I used to thing that people were fools to view life as this problematic journey of complexity and adversity because it only meant that they were not enjoying their life and that, whatever they were dealing with could not be THAT terrible.
I was in denial...she says confidently...not. the truth is people, I suffer from denial, I refuse to see that there is anything bad going on in my life because when I face it it hits me like a 1000 bricks and the worst part of getting up...is falling down.
I however, am a recovering denialist :) I think I just made up a word, but you know what I mean, the point being, I learned the lesson about myself.
It sadly took about a month but I did. I see that turning your back to what might hurt you, only weakens you. It's like not excercising, its not only bad, but it actually worsens your physical health. And, I have years of denial behing me where I did not train myself to deal with the problem and the pain until in cornered me. Silly Ana is quite silly isn't she. I discovered that I need to retrieve and deal with it on my own, if there is one great thing about me (arronant I know) is that I have an incredible connection with my inner self. I don't make a move without consulting with my inner self, It's quite amazing really, I live in my body and that might sound stupid to some, but really, how many people do you know that dont feel like 2 people, themselves and their body?
So i listened to my body's need, my souls need and I ended up seeking, but more than anything this week I found the glorious gift of being sought. Of putting myself out there and saying, I am seeking, I refuse to be in denial but I also refuse to believe that there is no way out and that there is nothing better than worrying and complaining and...it worked. there are absolutely no words to be able to describe these sentiments, there are no words to describe the feeling of finding myself again, and to know that I am picked, that just like I seek, I am being sought. And what a great word...seek.
It has got to be one of my favorite words in the whole entire world.
I would advise you...not push you...but advise you to understand that word fully and find a way to make it a part of your world, ask to be sought, see what happens... :)