me voy

No voy a llorar y decir que no merezco esto
porque es probable que lo merezco pero no lo quiero
por eso me voy, que lastima pero adios
me despido de ti y me voy

These are the lyrics to a song, in spanish obviously,
I am not going to cry and say that I don't deserve this
because it is possible that I do but I don't want it
so I say goodbye and Im leaving

I feel this is how I've treated Mexico, like there is always something better than it out there and so I go to look for it, yet, I always end up coming back and falling in love with it. This last trip made me view it as my platonic love, I know that we can't have each other, the circumstances in life don't permit for it, but we are still each others greatest love and no matter how far I am, I will always come back to it. It's silly I know, to be in love with a country, you might say ridiculous, it's too hard to explain though, I am not even going to attempt to do it. The way people live there, the way people interact with each other there, the language, the way people eat, all of it is so different, it's so tempting to do everything like them and because I am mexican I attempt to do things like they do, but, I well know that I can't just be mexican, that I have this other lifestyle in me, which is not bad, it just makes me long for mexico a lot.