whats left

the worst feeling in the world is to feel like second best and not to learn from it. I always come back excited and happy and forget about the times before to be crushed and its my own fault. to dream is to hope and so one should never stop dreaming, the dream and the reality are sometimes too different. it is hard to know if i am there simply to be there or if i really have a reason for being there i think i try really hard so i must be fighting for the place i belong in. i cant tell if the effort is worth it and like a song says, the good memories are leaving me and the sun is not coming back.