post #100

i think thats kind of cool, thought i'd point that out, 100 is a big number and its so like decisive and definite... 100, its such a merit number like I dunno, whats so worth while about 8? or 7? well seven there are 7 colors in the rainbow, 7 days in a week, 7 wonders of the world, so never mind that 7 is quite special, but, 100 is worth noting.
thoughts and thoughts, so many thoughts in my little head and all I want is to cry out, I so desperately want to cry out, not for pity or sorrow or no reason like it, for myself. I feel like I've spent an entire life supressing my wants and my feelings for others, as to not affect others, as to not make it harder for others; It's simply in my nature to put others before me. I have no problem with that I feed from that, but, right now all I want is to cry, cry myself out of tears so that I can move on to whatever is next.
One of my aunts is very very sick, she has cancer and so I prayed for her, I asked God to take everything away from me, and to give it to her, I offered everything in my life so that she could keep hers, I think he listened, I hope all that I am currently going through is because he listened.
If you've read previous entries, you might know what has me so down, if you haven't, i'm sorry, I do not wish to go into details or explain such circumstances, it never serves any good to dwell it what has happened and cannot be fixed.
All I know, and this can be applied to any hardship in life, is that life does not end here, and that every person is worth something, it is up to them to decide just how much they are worth, and no one, absolutely no one has a right to make someone question how much they are worth, I feel like I have faith again, faith in whatever comes next and I will not stop smiling, I think this is the last "sad" entry I put, well not the last last, but you know...

You know what I love about dance? It is always faithful to me, I can go back to it whenever I want and it's there for me, it's like it waits for me and I can pick it up right where I left of, and it doesn't mind. I never want to stop dancing, ever, I want it to be part of me until the day I die, so that people can say, My God, how she loved to dance.
I went to a dance classes twice this week, to keep busy, but it was so much fun, and the best part was that I was congratulated for my good rhythm and timing, yay!
I want to go see fireworks today, I saw fire works yesterday, but I want to go see fireworks today too, and then I want to go buy good night sleep tea, because I haven't been able to sleep for the past 4 nights, that's never happened to me before, I miss my sleep.