I've never believed in calling myself an artist. I think people who call themselves artists and have not practiced art for more than 40 years are purely egotistic. I am a student of art, I learn about art and then practice and practice until it becomes a little bit of second nature (it never really does.) Right or wrong, I am very doubtful of my skills. I know I am talented but I don't believe it sometimes. I always think, I still have so much to learn instead of wow I have less to learn because look at me, look what I can do!
When I work, I work for the satisfaction of learning along the way and of finishing. I work to better the way I draw. I work to create an emotion in a drawing and to be detailed. I work to perfect I guess its the way to put it and this way, I will work all my life because there is no perfect.
I went to the Natural history museum, We are drawing birds in my drawing studio and so I am drawing a duck. We usually go to the museum as a class but I decided I wanted to work ahead (Im utterly slow) and I went to the museum this morning. I was all by myself and I drew for about 2 hours. Little kids came by and watched me draw, people walked by and I could feel them looking but it didn't bother me. It was entertaining. I could watch their reflection on the window and its such a weird feeling, like people look at you because you are able to do something that they can't. This woman came up and she was with a bunch of kids, I'm assuming a field trip, and she started telling another woman how she thought I drew beautifully and she asked me if I was in art school and what technique I was using, because she had taken art classes in college. She told me to keep up the good work and walked away. All I could say was thank you in a very shy kind of way, because, well...thats what I do.
Ten minutes later she came back and said, you've inspired me, I'm going to take my drawings out and draw and happily walked away. And... I happily laughed and thought, well good! but your art is not just your art, your art is yours and whoever else sees it, it belongs to both of you and it impacts both of you.
A little later on this man came up to me and asked me if I was with an art class. I told him I was doing work for an art class but I wasnt with my class then. He said he kept seeing students drawing and wondered if they were from U of M. He told me he taught classes in the museum and also puts up displays for the museum. He then said, I just appreciate good art, very nice work. And I could not believe it. Like I was there to work, but, I got comments from people that were not grading me or critiquing me, they were admiring my work and so for a little while I actually believed that I am good, that I deserve to believe i'm good in a non-egotistic way.
I went to the art store to buy watercolors and watercolor paper, and I believe this place is pure good vibe. I hadn't seen a 1999 penny in a good six months, and today I found one, I didn't just find one, it was given to me, I was MEANT to recieve this penny and so I believe in what is next with full and utter faith, because I was also given a 1994 D penny. As unreal as it seems, its true, its very true.
No comments:
Post a Comment